DX #16 · Your diagnosis

TOXC

The Self-Aware Red Flag

"Turned themselves in. Plead guilty. Will do it again."
TOXC — The Self-Aware Red Flag

You know you are the problem. You have known this for some time. You have informed several people of this fact, often at a pace that outruns the problem itself, as if self-disclosure counted as accountability. It does not. But you do it anyway, and you do it well. You're a red flag with commentary.

You don't lie. You simply report the fault at the exact moment it becomes unfixable. This passes for honesty in the group chat, and to be fair — it is. You're genuinely the most truthful person in most rooms. The catch is that none of the truth-telling changes the behavior. The flag stays planted. Another one gets added. The forest grows.

The self-awareness is the most seductive and the most dangerous thing about you. People think if you can name it, you can stop. They are wrong. You are not withholding the cure. You are not sitting on a fix. The naming is the coping. The naming is where you live now.

  1. Warn people about yourself before doing the thing
  2. Say "I told you I was like this" with a straight face
  3. Tweet your red flags, then embody them on main
  4. Ghost, then text "sorry, I'm so bad at this" from the other side of the ghost
  5. Write self-aware apologies that extract more apology from the wronged party
  6. Collect diagnoses of yourself like trading cards
Red flag? I'm the entire parade, and I printed the programs.